That's Not A Grilled Cheese, Asshole

There's a Carl's Jr. commercial on television that features a group of guys at a diner. The ridiculously hot waitress brings over a tray and starts serving burgers. When she gets to the final guy, she says "a kid's grilled cheese meal with a crayon and a coloring book."

And then the table of ridiculously hot girls at the booth across from them roll their eyes.

And what is this commercial for? The "grown up" grilled cheese---which, according to the retards at Carl's Jr., has a HAMBURGER AND BACON ON IT.

That's not a grilled cheese. That's a motherfucking bacon cheeseburger.

And the linguistic clumsiness isn't the only thing I have a problem with in this commercial. Everyone's so condescending to this poor bastard who wanted to order some bread with melted cheese on it at 3am. Is that a fucking crime?

Now, at this point, you're probably thinking "Isn't this a blog about not eating meat or dairy for a month? What does this have to do with a dumbass commercial?"

Well, here's the thing.

When I saw the commercial and they showed the picture of the big, greasy cheeseburger, I got incredibly nauseous. Ten days in and I honestly am revolted by (at least some kinds of) meat. I thought about eating a turkey sandwich and----God, I don't even want to talk about it.

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And while we're on a cheese-related blog, I tried some of that Daiya cheddar cheese that everyone is raving about. Okay, I will admit that it LOOKS a lot like cheese. But honestly, I don't see the big deal. It's kind of gross and tastes closer to Velveeta than anything squeezed from a cow's boob. It has a really weird, buttery smell.

If that's the best kind of vegan cheese out there, I'm just going to pass.


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God, those off-white slices of deli turkey. And that weird, chewy texture. And the smell! Oh, Jesus Christ that's awful.

I need to lie down for a minute. Talk amongst yourselves.

Last Meal

This was the last meal. An In-N-Out cheeseburger (animal style), fries, and a Coke. I even put it on a plate to mark the occasion.

Somebody asked me why my friends and I were going vegan. Honestly, I'm still not quite sure. I mean, part of it is to be healthier. But there's really no overarching REASON for doing it. Other than the fact that we wondered if we could.

I respect people who are vegetarian for moral reasons. My father, incidentally, is a vegetarian. He's Hindu and that's the norm in India. The idea of eating meat is just distasteful and anathema in his worldview. Though I have seen him eat fish at Red Lobster with no problem whatsoever. Fish are fine.

Incidentally, out of all of the animals we kill as a society, fish have it the worst. They get pulled, BY A HOOK IN THEIR MOUTH, into a hostile environment until they drown. That's way worse than a cow getting a bolt gun to the head or a chicken getting its neck snapped.

No one gives a fuck about fish because they're not cute, unless they're animated and voiced by Ellen Degeneres. But I digress.

I've heard some vegetarians talk about how, after a certain period of time, the very idea of eating meat is disgusting to them. And I wonder, if I was vegetarian for long enough, would my worldview change? Would I become repulsed at the activity I so thoroughly enjoyed before?

Could I look at a delicious Double-Double and feel nothing but sorrow?

I'm curious to find out.

And here's a really funny bit from Louis CK to close out this entry: