That's Not A Grilled Cheese, Asshole

There's a Carl's Jr. commercial on television that features a group of guys at a diner. The ridiculously hot waitress brings over a tray and starts serving burgers. When she gets to the final guy, she says "a kid's grilled cheese meal with a crayon and a coloring book."

And then the table of ridiculously hot girls at the booth across from them roll their eyes.

And what is this commercial for? The "grown up" grilled cheese---which, according to the retards at Carl's Jr., has a HAMBURGER AND BACON ON IT.

That's not a grilled cheese. That's a motherfucking bacon cheeseburger.

And the linguistic clumsiness isn't the only thing I have a problem with in this commercial. Everyone's so condescending to this poor bastard who wanted to order some bread with melted cheese on it at 3am. Is that a fucking crime?

Now, at this point, you're probably thinking "Isn't this a blog about not eating meat or dairy for a month? What does this have to do with a dumbass commercial?"

Well, here's the thing.

When I saw the commercial and they showed the picture of the big, greasy cheeseburger, I got incredibly nauseous. Ten days in and I honestly am revolted by (at least some kinds of) meat. I thought about eating a turkey sandwich and----God, I don't even want to talk about it.

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And while we're on a cheese-related blog, I tried some of that Daiya cheddar cheese that everyone is raving about. Okay, I will admit that it LOOKS a lot like cheese. But honestly, I don't see the big deal. It's kind of gross and tastes closer to Velveeta than anything squeezed from a cow's boob. It has a really weird, buttery smell.

If that's the best kind of vegan cheese out there, I'm just going to pass.


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God, those off-white slices of deli turkey. And that weird, chewy texture. And the smell! Oh, Jesus Christ that's awful.

I need to lie down for a minute. Talk amongst yourselves.